By: Kurt Barnes

Have you ever paused to consider the way we frame such a foundational question to our children: “What do you want to do when you grow up?” It’s a question we all recognize and probably answered ourselves countless times. But something is telling about the way we ask. The emphasis is clearly placed on doing—selecting a career path, acquiring skills, and achieving recognition. “Do you want to be an astronaut?” “A teacher?” “A football player?” But when was the last time we asked, “Who do you want to be when you grow up?”

By consistently focusing on what we should do, we implicitly teach our kids that what we do is more valuable than who we are. This mindset subtly ingrains itself in young minds, encouraging them to build their lives around skill sets and knowledge, often neglecting character and values in the process. It’s a pattern that leads to a fulfilling resume but not necessarily a fulfilling life.

Imagine pivoting our questions to focus on character and values. “Do you want to grow up to be gentle, kind, joyful, gracious, and Christlike?” This shift could redefine success for the next generation, emphasizing personal growth, integrity, and peace of mind over accolades and wealth.
At Silver Creek Fellowship, we’re intentionally challenging this traditional narrative. Our prayer and goal for the next generation are not for them to simply partake in the rat race toward personal fame and fortune. Instead, we aim to nurture a passion to follow Jesus’s life and mission. We want our youth not merely to accept Jesus and blend in with cultural norms but to truly apprentice under Him, deeply shaped by His teachings and love.

Summer and I are challenging this narrative within our family at home. Each day, we remind our kids that academic success and accolades aren’t what matters most to us—it’s kindness. Sure, they might roll their eyes now, but I know they’ve heard it. They understand that what we value most isn’t what they can do, but who they are.

The vision is clear: to see them build their entire lives on the firm foundation of Jesus, living fruitful, impactful lives as they abide in His teachings—much like a branch thrives only when connected to the vine. This isn’t just a vision for my children; it’s a comprehensive approach we desire for every person.

We’d love to invite you into this journey of abiding in Jesus. It starts with simply being with Him—building a continuous, intentional connection. As you spend time with Him, you begin to reflect His character, becoming more like Him. This transformation isn’t just for personal growth; it naturally leads you to do what Jesus did. Your life becomes a living testament, producing fruit that impacts everyone around you.

This post isn’t just an exploration; it’s a call to action. Reflect on who you want to be, rediscover the value in character over career, and remember that your worth is not in what you do but in whose you are. As we grow ever more connected to the true vine, we move towards lives of deeper significance, lasting fruitfulness, and real joy. Join us on this transformative journey.